I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
