you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
