i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
