Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
