My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
