hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
