I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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