omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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