Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
They took my balls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
