Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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