What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
