I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
