I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize