this just has baby written all over it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
