now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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