the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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