The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize