He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
