he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
