I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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