This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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