ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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