So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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