You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
