is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
