We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
