I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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