I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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