The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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