Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Randomize
