goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can text with my tongue
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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