Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
