how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
