90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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