Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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