I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
