I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
