And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
