i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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