do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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