You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
