I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
