Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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