We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize