I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Floor bacon is actually really good
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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