come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
