We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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