I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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