If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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