Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
