Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
