even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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