I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
