i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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