I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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