What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
