sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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