I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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