It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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