yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
