Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
